Is that you AF?

Today the lower back cramps started and once again it's a new phantom symptom because even when I get cramps pre AF, they are always in the front, not in my back. So I'm getting quite the list of phantom/AF symptoms and I had a bit of a temp drop this morning. It sucks because I can only hold so much stock in my temps because normally I get at least 6 hours of consecutive sleep but because I have my friends baby I'm practically getting 2 hours 59 minutes and 59 seconds of sleep before I temp.

If my temp dives tomorrow I'll probably still test but it will most likely mean AF is on her way. I so desperately want to be hopeful but we'll see, no spotting yet but back to sticky CM. I swear that flipping jeopardy song is playing over and over and over in my head! Ahhhhhhhh!

Luckily I'm distracted

So it's been an interesting week thus far, I've been watching my BFF's little girl Tyler since Sunday night because she and her BF are sitting on a cruise ship not allowed to dock in Mexico. Monday night was the night from hell and I'm sure now it's because Mommy was no where in sight. I got no more than 2 1/2 hours of sleep and have learned very quickly to treasure my sleep. Since then the last two nights have been perfect, I even managed to get her feeding schedule down so I could temp this morning without marking sleep deprived!

Steve had his shoulder surgery on Friday and he is having issues with his pain meds causing migraines. I took him to the hospital yesterday so that he could get some shot that is supposed to help, but none the less he was miserable last night. I was finally able to take his bandages off last night and it looks like the doctor took an extra swipe at him and left a nice little gash in between the 3 intended scars. The plus side is that it looks like he was able to open him up close to the same place as he did last time (failed surgery aug 08) and again avoided screwing up Steve's back tattoo. Steve starts physical therapy on Friday!

So while all this is going on and I'm avoiding the kitchen like the plague ordering take out every night, I am at the tale end of my 2ww. I am also enjoying a wide variety of phantom symptoms! I've had slight cramping on the left side of my tummy, my breasts are sore and have been for a couple days now (not that it means anything after last month), regardless of what I eat I am gassy and for some reason I had watery CM yesterday that turned into EWCM by the end of the night.

It kind of sucks because I'm not optimistic even though given our timing and all that good stuff I should be. Even still all the thoughts of how to tell my BFF and my mom are running through my head if I were to get a BFP. I already have it all planned out how I am going to tell DH, that's been covered for months! So it's a little frustrating because once again I have no clue what to think, my temps are still up but that's normal. They will probably stay up tomorrow as well as my crash usually comes around 13dpo. The plan is to test on Friday morning if my temp stays up and I have no spotting. I might wait until Saturday if either of those things happen but we'll see. I think I'm expecting a BFN in all my pessimism so I don't care if I waste a $ test or two.

So it's only Wednesday, and the beginning of the day at that, I think it's time for breakfast!

Wow it's been a whole year!

I never would have thought a year ago that I would still not be pregnant. I have learned so much in the last year about the TTC process and truly look forward to being someones mommy! I thought I was so on top of it by knowing I should be off the pill for a bit before we even started trying. I even dealt with AF tagging along on our honeymoon because my cycles we no longer predictable. Little did I know, I knew nothing in the grand scheme of things. I also have to take into account that 4 months out of this year were spent TTA, but still, I just have this weird feeling knowing it's been a year since I last took one of those little pills!!!!

So now I sit here in the 2ww, waiting until Friday to test, cramping and uncontrollably burping hoping having sex so many days in a row actually worked. I honestly am so pessimistic about the process now, I was telling Steve that yesterday at dinner. While there is always a hope that it will happen, I don't expect it anymore, I don't even think it will. Somewhere along the lines I implanted it in my brain that I am going to be one of the unlucky ones and deep down I want nothing more than to prove myself wrong! I guess seeing disappointment over and over from ladies still trying and then seeing 1st timers get a BFP their 1st cycle, you can't help but become a little pessimistic.

Oh well, what can I do but get myself through the rest of this 2ww!

Holy temp drop!

Wow I certainly didn't expect that drop this morning, I was actually afraid FF wouldn't give me CH because of it. Of course I am pleasantly surprised that it did. I am feeling extra pressure this cycle which completely sucks since it's only 3 dpo, I've got at least another 10 days of this.

Steve is having his shoulder surgery on Friday so if I don't get pregnant this cycle I'm sure next cycle won't be an option. Of course Steve and I have joked that we'll have sex 1 time next cycle if we're lucky and that will be the one to do it if we're not so lucky this cycle. I'm really crossing my fingers!

I didn't give into the old wives tales this cycle, no green tea, no pineapple core, no B-6 and I only used pre-seed 1 time because that was all we needed and even then we ended up not needing it at all. This cycle we just had lots and lots of sex leading up to O, we missed the day after O but I'm not too concerned since my body had clearly said it was done cooperating .

There's obviously nothing I can do to motivate my eggs and the sperm to get together and make a baby, believe me if there was I would, so I've got to remind myself to sit back and relax. Steve and I are going to the gym every night but I am making a point to not over exert myself and to keep my heart rate between 120-130 rather than my normal 140-150 goal. Oh and I'm staying away from caffeine and alcohol but that's honestly become norm for me now, I was never dependant on either.

So that's it, I'm hoping these next 10 days fly by, having my BFF's little girl next week might help with that process, of course I'm sure my temps will all be open circles because I'll be sleep deprived but oh well, at least it's not before O!

Playing mommy for a week

My BFF is going on a cruise next week and her aunt flaked on her last minute on watching her 3 month old daughter. So being the awesome friend that I am, I offered up my services if she could find someone to watch the baby during the day. Now it’s official, I’ll be dropping off the baby every morning at "daycare" and picking her up every night after work.

It’s a little intimidating seeing as I don’t have any children of my own and mommy will be off sailing the seas. I’ve been around children a LOT but they’ve always been older. For some reason it took me until today to realize I have to change diapers and everything. Plus this is a couple days after Steve's shoulder surgery (I asked him before offering to watch her) so I will have him to take care of as well. He figured he'd be okay having her there because he'll be so knocked up on drugs he probably won't even notice.

Wish me luck! I'm hoping to have her come back and I can say "Here's your baby back, I've got one of my own."

I'm Oing today...or Not!

Just when I think I've got things figured out, WHAM, my body throws a curve ball. Here I am on CD15, I've had a week of fertile quality CM, we've had great timing with sex the last 5 days and I had positive OPK's on CD12 and CD13. I've been thinking I would have O'd yesterday or even the day before and still nothing. Instead my body is laughing at me, my temp was 97.37 this morning, 97.36 yesterday and 97.35 the day before. If it comes up as 97.38 tomorrow, I just might throw my thermometer out the window.

So I'm guessing I might O today, I won't put stock in it, but it's an educated guess based on process of elimination. I mean you aren't supposed to O more than two days after your last positive OPK, right? So...we'll see what happens in the morning, if nothing else we have had absolutely awesome timing. I am crossing my fingers that my body doesn't throw another curve and give me a triphasic or something else kinda chart. Come on ovaries spit out and egg...please!

I'm feeling really good today

I'm not sure why but I just have a great feeling about today! It is going to be a beautiful weekend and Steve and I have nothing planned other than my first softball game of the new season tonight. Maybe I'm in such a great mood because we've had a ton of sex this week and it's not over. I am most likely ovulating today so Steve committed to today and tomorrow for more, I think this will be our longest streak since we've been married.

Speaking of softball, Steve and I don't want to tell any of our close friends we're pregnant (once we get pg) until 8 -10 weeks. That's kind of hard considering I play softball and volleyball with most of them at least once a week. So I came up with a great plan to say I busted my ankle. Steve, being the injury prone one, has a brace for every occasion so I can really play it up and say I'm not playing because of that. Because if I said I was quitting for no reason, they would all know we we're pg because they all know were trying. So I am very proud of myself for that plan. Now if I can figure out how to get my replacement on the teams to reimburse the $150 I'm putting in to play, then I'll give myself a HUGE pat on the back.

Anyhow, life is good, I'm off work in an hour, going to get my car washed, then going home and getting it on, then I think I'll take Steve out to lunch and maybe to a movie. He's getting a little down about his surgery next week so I do what I can to keep him smiling. I'm hoping for a really awesome weekend and I hope yours is just as great!

It could be worse

Nickleback Tickets, Wahoo

I just bought our presale tickets for the Nickleback concert on Sept 1st. I'm taking Steve and my mom (it's her birthday) and I'm so excited. Every other time they have been in Northern Cali they always played a place a couple hours away (small venue). So needless to say I am so excited they are finally playing a large venue in the Bay Area and we are center stage. Granted we're first row of second stage but till awesome seats none the less.

I'll take some Chad Kroger hottness!

This made me smile today

Welcome to CD1

OMFG thank you AF for showing up at 7am on my day off, you truly are an evil evil evil bitch! With half a glass of milk, an 800mg motrin, my heating pad and heated blanket I was able to get another hour of sleep out of my morning. But I just thought I'd mention that I hate you AF!

On my way down

I got my temp drop today, apparently I forgot to beg for that too because the spotting went away yesterday when I begged, even if it did come back this morning. Oh well, what can you do, I'm sure AF will be here before the day is out. The only positive side about it is that because I O'd so early I should hopefully O again before Steve goes in for shoulder surgery rather than after. So we still have a shot at next cycle which is better than not! Oh yeah and I didn't waste any test this cycle either, yeah for saving a buck.

As for my Magic 8 Ball telling me I was pregnant, I guess I just can't trust you anymore, lol! Looks like were in on the fight for baby New Year!

No spotting, please go away!

Does it help if you beg? So I got a bunch of brown spotting this morning and I partially think I'm done for. I really really really hope I'm not but now I'm starting to feel a little cramping too, although I think that may be somewhat psychological. Usually when AF shows up I don't get cramps until I actually see red, well at least 8 out of 10 times. So therefore I think my cramps are somewhat in my head!

I am really hoping that its not AF, I mean something has to explain the soreness in my chest for the last 10 days. I guess it doesn't help either that I feel like I'm starting to get sick. If AF doesn't show up today I'm sure I'll know for sure tomorrow by my temp.

This cycle would be great for a BFP, we could tell my dad, MIL and rest of our close family/friends on mothers day (my mom and BFF will know the day off) and then tell everyone else when we get back from our cruise in June! But maybe that just means I'll have to find better timing for next cycle, like tell on Fathers day and then everyone else on our 1 year anniversary! I'm really hoping for a December baby though, I'd love the end of year tax write off, lol.

Oh well I'm holding on until I know for sure but it's not looking good for me! For now I'll go back to begging the spotting to go away!